[Yoon-Suin][NPC] The Putri Coldheart

The Putri Coldheart

You guessed it, more awful art by me.

The Putri Coldheart is Nāga, but tantamount to a rebellious adolescent. About seven months ago, she slithered away from the spoiled coils of the splendid Coldheart Sister-Knot after being teased one-time-too-many, and decided to strike out on her own.

Although still very young, The Putri had little trouble claiming a ramshackle ruin in the Old Town. The Putri is in the process of surreptitiously pawning some of her valuables through Charmed go-betweens in the Yellow City. She would dearly love to furnish her new palace and properly provision it in accordance with the ostentatious appetites she believes all Nāga require and deserve.

The Putri has a problem. She is due to molt again very soon and will need to obtain another torso and set of arms, slightly larger than this one.

In terms of Appearance: She is very slight of frame, with pale skin and scales that are only just beginning to crowd. These scales register as emerald green to Humans, a teal-ish blue in the eyes of Slug-Men, and like shifting sea-foam to Crab-Men. Dwarf-vision tends to render her natural form entirely in negative*. Most would place her age at somewhere between 13 and 15 rains.

In accordance with the fashions of the time, The Putri’s nose was magically flesh-wiped from her face on her tenth birthday. The Putri’s misses it wistfully sometimes.

In terms of the Voice that your Players hear in their heads (The Putri’s mouth is mostly decorative): Ssssolely telepathic (speak into cupped hands or a teacup), The Putri isss ssssoft sssspoken. The Putri ssstrives for ssssentances ssstuffed with ssssibilencccceee and sssslang. The Putri ssssytematically disssorientsss othersss by usssing her name inssstead of firssst-persssson pronounsss. The Putri isss unaccussstomed to and flussssstered by impudencccce. The Putri’sss ssssoundtrack is Siouxsie and the Banshees.

If this proves a pain, then just attempt your best teenage girl. Valley Girl dialect is also a possible candidate.

In terms of Influence: Only a recent addition to this area of Yoon-Suin, The Putri is uncharacteristically cautious for her age, and other than a handful of attendants that she has ensorcelled into service, she is still very suspicious of the bustle and hustle of the Yellow City. Her last visit was positively disastrous, as she inadvertently spoiled the salty and solemn sky-funeral of an upper-caste relative of Vèlô, with a rather provocative outfit and a naive lack of familiarity with the concept of death, dying, and mourning.

In terms of Foibles & Flaws: The Putri bites her fingernails incessantly and twirls and twitches her tail in a state of perpetual fidgetiness. She is less than graceful and exceedingly self-conscious about this fact. Pathologically unable to accept compliments or flattery, any panegyrics are mentally translated into a foreign/unintelligible language in her head.  

In terms of Motive: The Putri would like to wear two pairs of arms this molt. The Putri needs help decorating. The Putri cannot bear to part with any more of her finery, and is enacting an elaborate ransom scheme. A charmed servant misinterpreted one of The Putri’s many errands, and fetched the wrong two things. Twist: The Putri was one/both of them all along.

In terms of Trappings & Capabilities:

• Confirmed Spells: Disguise; Charm Person; Defensive Orbs; Orbs of Enfeeblement; Render Invisible; Rope Trick; Searing Ray; Call Monster III
• Suspected Spells: Blur; Animate Furniture; Call Monster II; Musical Accompaniment; Nāga Fireballs; Humanform; Duplicate Self; Strangling Tresses

HD: 5, AC: 5 [15], #ATT 2, Dmg: 1d4/d6+2, Move 150 (Swim 180), ML 7, Save As: MU5.

* Has Natural ESP/Telepathy extending 90’

*Sting inflicts 2d4 rounds of extreme grogginess on a failed save versus poison.

Jewelry that The Putri plans on Pawning: A fine filigreed peacock medallion, her older sister’s favorite electrum collar, a platinum ring set with amethyst (a gift from a Bui Prince she was betrothed to at birth), a fine silk headband with teardrop shaped pearls, her Nāga Orb.

She also stole: a Karambit of the Planes [Unusual Abilities: Int: 12, Alignment: Chaotic Good, Communication: empathy, Powers/Abilities: detect elevator/shifting rooms/walls in a 1" radius]. The Karambit takes great pleasure in filling The Putri with guilty feelings, so she rarely unsheathes it.

A yak leather quiver of 11 Arrows +1, A Philter of Heroic Resilience, Spell Scroll (Neutralize Poison, Animate Dead)

She wears a Ring of Clumsiness and Warmth on her left hand. She is not aware of its cursed nature, but luxuriates in the warmth. It is her most prized possession.

Hidden among her numerous sketchbooks (she is an incredibly gifted artist) is a Map to Monetary Treasure: Lamarakh, miles distant, the guarded lair of her sister-knot. [16,000 gold, 7,000 copper, 4,000 silver].

* Something like this:

[Yoon-Suin][NPC] Vèlô the Slug-Man Merchant Prince

Vèlô the Slug-Man Merchant Prince

The corpulent scion of one of the wealthier Monograph Mogul families within the Yellow City, Vèlô fancies himself a bit of a playboy and hedonist. Prone to opulent binging, wanton whinging, and unnecessarily expensive excess; there is rarely a delicacy or asalubrious gratification that remains un-sampled for long in his slimy, chortling presence.

Atrocious Art by Yours Truly

In terms of Appearance: He is quite portly and very tall (towering at seven-feet, almost as wide in places). Rumors of a scandalous dalliance with a Slug Giant somewhere in the verdant branches of his family’s tree are oft whispered and rarely refuted. His Muculence (as he prefers to be addressed) usually shifts his clammy skin tone to match his mood, becoming the color of pale lead when content, but dramatically darkening to a deep crimson when flustered or angry. When confronted with a sublime histrionic performance: bright glistening chartreuse. Dark bands appear on his arms and legs when he hungry, which is most of the time. He smells strongly of sweaty wine or peaty scotch, but frequently masks this with cloying arcane perfumery.

In terms of Voice: Suck loudly on your teeth before speaking deep-ish and slow. The more irritating this becomes, the better. Avoid a mess, but an un-swallowed and smallish mouthful of water goes a long way when burbled in this fashion (pointedly gulp it down before soliloquizing, if this makes you burp: that would be brilliantly appropriate). Practice makes perfect with this technique. For something more decorous, delicately crumple cellophane. The various sodden and hollow sounds associated with phlegm and mucus are also quite apt, and a thicker, more phlegm-forming, beverage or food can assist with this. Bananas always seem to work well for me*.

In terms of Influence: His family is well-respected, deeply-conservative, and the very definitions of the words bookish and cautious. This has not rubbed-off on Vèlô, who is currently in the process of squandering the majority of his substantial inheritance on banana wine, banal women, and banausic dramaturgy. He spends money desperately and is uncharacteristically (for Yoon-Suin) abysmal at haggling. He will very soon be bankrupt.

His penchants for the extravagant have made him quite the popular figure in certain affluent Yellow City social circles. His snooty factotum, Knjo, can often be found ceaselessly scrambling to settle his numerous domino debts (Vèlô is an unimaginative and incautious player who is easily bested by any opponent with an Intelligence of 11 or higher; he's lost to Crab-Men!) before there are any more unsavory consequences.

In terms of Foibles & Flaws: He idly blows slime bubbles when wool-gathering. This is quite disgusting. He has an enduring and vociferous fondness for mime. This is also quite disgusting. He eats frequently and noisily (he will consume the combined weight of all players at your table in bananas during the course of a single conversation), and it’s said the sound of his scraping radula can be heard for several city-blocks. He is weak and quickly winded, and sighs sonorously upon seeing stairs. His compliance with accepted table manners is decidedly recalcitrant.

In terms of Motive: His moist and immense love for all things theatre. The sumptuous luxury of staging a private performance. To aggravate and antagonize Putri Coldheart. Remittance for an unsavory wager. As a token of esteem, intended to inveigle Jàla to lower the bulk price of bananas.

In terms of Trappings & Capabilities: Vèlô is a mawkish and mediocre Magician who has only really bothered with the basics, despite the rather robust resources he could easily persuade his family to provide. His spell book consists of dozens of dusty labels affixed to expensive imported vintages within his banana wine-cellar, and although he often goes down there to “study” he seldom forestalls the temptation to indulge and rarely remains sober enough to fully fill up his arcane allotment.

• Confirmed Spells: Stairclimb, Odoriferous Retreat, Faithful Chaise-Lounge, Overindulge, Muculent Mists
• Suspected Spells: Shield, Read Magic, Silence, Slimeless Step, Acidic Darts, Protection from Salt, Globe of Darkness

HD: 3-3, AC: 7 [13], #ATT 1, Dmg: d6-1 by Teak Danda (staff), Move 90, ML 4, Save As: MU3.

He is never without his bracelet. It pinches his clammy wrist folds and is a garish blue-metal adornment set with seven small spherical garnets. Each of these can be gingerly removed and swallowed. Very shortly after this is done: as Teleport Self with no chance of error to where the corresponding bracelet is located. The counterpart bracelet is currently near his nearly-full wand stand, within his fortified wine-cellar and has no garnets remaining.

* For added affectation, urge for it to be peeled languidly by a Crab-Man player if possible; Bananas are his favorite food. 
Vèlô hates to touch food and is often hand-fed by his attendants. I heartily recommend extending every effort to make him as odious and unpleasant as possible for if/when he perishes at the hands of your players.

[Yoon-Suin][NPC] “Snappy” Jàla Khan

“Snappy” Jàla Khan

Jàla Khan is the reigning megalomaniacal monarch of all bivalves within the Gulf of Morays. He is also the democratically elected regent over all shelled subjects who inhabit the various deltas and tributaries of the God River that extend into the Yellow City. Through a series of strategic assassinations, his mandate has recently been extended to include all limpets and barnacles. He is also a ponderous pain in the rear.

In terms of Appearance: Jàla is a surprisingly symmetrical Oyster, exactly the size of the Yoon-Master’s hand (with fingers outstretched).  His shell is heavily decorated with extensive pearl bead-work and precious stones. His flesh is ashtray gray and he occasionally sports a fu manchu moustache-merkin made from glossy black sea-camel hair. He has two, olive-sized-and-shaped pink rose-quartz “eyes” that he infrequently remembers to wear whenever addressing non-mollusks. He looks and smells delicious.

In terms of Voice: If available, punctuate with castanets (clacking a few resonant dice together betwixt thumb and forefinger works in a pinch). Shoot for semi-sniveling, preferably high-pitched, and avoid large words. Your second best Southern Drawl works as well. When bored (which is interminably often when hearing bootless pleas from air-breathers), expect tuneless whistling.

In terms of Influence: The Oyster King is a remarkably savvy twerp, and has clamped down on most unlicensed commerce involving pearls and nacre. He also holds a monopoly on some of the key reagents for Sovereign Glue. Representatives of his kingdom travel far and wide on the hulls of ships and skiffs, and this foreknowledge of trade goods is often used advantageously to short the markets. 

If pressed into defense of his interests or territory, he can easily muster a troop of a thousand Barnaclids and could potentially raid his coffers to procure at least a legion of Locathah irregulars with a dozen Giant Starfish Siege Engines. He often entertains ecstatic fantasies of razing the Yellow City with such a mighty army, but is far too miserly to expend the resources (it would very likely fail hilariously). He’d rather play the waiting game and stake his claim after the cephalopods make their move.

Fortunately, thus far, negotiations with the Squid-Men and the Kraken have been as disastrous as to be expected; and although he would be loathe to admit it, relations with the Topaz Dragon have cooled (the result of a disastrous surprise birthday party).

In terms of Foibles & Flaws: Utterly incapable of tolerating alcohol, but when soused is effectively immortal. This is a consistent source of consternation for him. He possesses a carefully curated and opulent undersea harem, but isn’t quite sure why, other than “It must be so.” He has a standing bounty of three chestnut-sized pearls on all woodworkers and walrus (and under no-circumstances will discuss his childhood in Voivodja). Overtly fond of puffery and due-deference, his treatment of air-breathers is typically rude at best and coldly aloof at worst. He detests being referred to as "Snappy," and has ordered Giant Flesh-Eating Oyster mass-executions for less.   

In terms of Motive*: Vengeance on Vèlô for a slight (possibly perceived). To stock his vestigial Harem. To unite the Crab-Men under his banner (he’s perceptively noticed the girls’ sway over his monstrous bodyguard, Tǃchk). To deprive air-breathers of art and culture. To mend fences with the Topaz Dragon.

In terms of Trappings and Capabilities: Irritatingly engulfed in his fleshy folds is his symbol of office and most trusted adviser. A pea-sized black pearl known as We Speak The Will Of Kings. The pearl is an intelligent artefact of commensurate ego to that of the bearer, and allows the anointed monarch to speak all languages and cast several useful high-order spells from the schools of beguiling and enchantment.

• Confirmed: Mass Charm Monster, Mass Charm Person, Dominate Person, Enthrall, Modify Memory, Zone of Truth, Irresistible Dance, Mass Suggestion, Undersea Animal Messenger, Feeblemind, Power Word: Grovel
• Suspected: Enlarge, Nacreous Color Spray, Displacement, Hallucinatory Undersea Terrain

In addition, he often wears a dweomer-woven tangerine-colored ascot that allows him to Fly and operate comfortably on the surface.

He is also in the possession of a gaudy green Kwalishi Submersible that he has been known to infrequently hire out (at exorbitant rates) to adequately deferential air-breathers in need of such things.

HD: 8+3, AC: 0 [20], #ATT 2, Dmg: d4+3/ d4+3, Move 30 (90 fly), ML 7, Save As: F8.

• Seldom encountered alone, usually has a retinue of at least 5d12 max-HP Barnaclids, or a praetorian guard of elite Crab-Men (at least a score, HD: 6+6). When taking in a show in the Yellow City however, it may be possible to encounter the pragmatically frugal Jàla atop a black velvet and ermine-edged pillow, with only a single bodyguard (the titanic Tǃchk).

*This section is for the adventure I'm currently tapping away on in idle moments. Until it is finished, I intend to tease out a bit of content here and there. Hopefully, my fellow Yoon-Masters will find some use in it.

[Magic Item] The Gnashing Egg

Figure 1 Apex Predator | Egg | Sculpture | 2014

When hurled in the direction of a target (close enough for horseshoes and hand grenades is fine), the egg explodes in a hail of teeth that swarm like mosquitoes, pelting any nearby targets and inflicting damage based on the target’s Armor Class (20 – AC for ascending systems) each round for three rounds. During this time, visibility is significantly reduced around the targets as the whirlwind of teeth noisily darns the air as gnats do on a summer evening.

Once the duration expires, the egg reforms, but is simply a macabre and inert objet d’art (of immense value to the Fae and some Elfs), until held in the left hand of an individual whilst a tooth is extracted. At this point the egg hatches into a chick. Once sexed (d100 by an individual who knows of such things), the chick will either rapidly mature into: (1-51) a very grumpy hen with teeth or a (52-00) very loyal and tenaciously ferocious fighting rooster.

Over the course of the next few new moons, a hen will lay 1d4-1 new Gnashing Eggs. If the hen is eaten, it is quite delicious, but anyone partaking will gradually lose all their teeth over the next week. If girded in electrum spurs, the rooster fights as a 3 HD creature in cockfights.

For Yoon-Suin: The Gnashing Egg is an artefact one might stumble across in the ruins of any of hundreds of crumbling coops in the Old Town. It has a complexity of 4. Only half a dozen are known to the collectors in the Yellow City, and an inert egg was recently stolen from a tastefully filigreed display nest in the Pennate Collection. One would be wise to treat any personage who maintains edentulous or gap-smiling chattels with the utmost decorum and obeisance. Think twice before partaking of a stranger's satay, and be wary when wagering. 

You Are What You Can't

I've been musing a little bit about one of my main issues with Skill Lists that have been inserted into D&D and the various clones over the years. I understand that defining the chances of success at a given task was an important driving factor behind this, but I chafe under the limitations it tends to impose. If a Skill List is provided, players have a tendency to use it as a guide what their character is capable of and this is a little anti-ethical to a certain style of Old School Play. Conversely, extensive skill lists also do tend to inform play by reminding a player of options that might not be readily apparent.

There seem to be many approaches to handle this issue:

One is to keep the skills and capabilities of character's relatively unbound/undefined, at least initially, and explore or flesh them out through play or background. “My father was a blacksmith. Can I shoe this horse?” or “Have I ever encountered the language of Lizard Men before?” This approach relies on a lot of inspiration from Players, and a fair amount of negotiation with the DM. It works over time. There is usually very little interaction with the standardized hidden skill subsystems (like finding Secret Doors, or being surprised), and most rolls can be resolved by a myriad of variations on the venerable Ability Check.

Another quickly devolves into more comprehensive lists of skills and options. Players look in askance at their Character Sheet when confronted with a problem, and dare not attempt things they do not perceive themselves as “good at” for fear of the wrath of the Random Number Generator. They know their strengths, but still fear failure. Usually these systems divorce the chance of success from ability scores to a degree, or become more level dependent.

In each case the character ends up defined and differentiated by what they're good at, but they all have distinct pros and cons.

I'm wrestling with a very different approach.

What if characters were actually defined or differentiated by what they were “bad at” or “incapable of doing” rather than what they are “good at” or “capable of doing.” In a way, flaws are essential for interesting choices and characters, but other than the occasional low ability score (increasingly rare in more modern systems with standard arrays, cracked and subverted bell curves, and point buys) limitations above something broad (“No Edged Weapons”) or vague (“I'm Lawful, I wouldn't do that”) are still conspicuously absent from most D&D games.

They may develop through play or be informed a little by Alignment choice, and the classics always crop up: “My Dwarf is Greedy,” “My Fighter cannot tell a lie” “My Thief is a Kleptomaniac” but there's nothing up front to encourage or direct players to behave in this fashion, other than this wonderful spontaneous development during play or occasionally a seed of an idea on the Player's part (informed by fiction or the prior imagining of something that “seems like it would be fun or interesting to try to play,”) or maybe even as a rationalization of low Ability Scores (I've messed with this a bit before with my previous post on Ability Score Tags).

So instead of a comprehensive skill list, or waiting for skills to develop through play and negotiation, what if part of character generation spelled out some of the character's flaws and deficiencies with a specific eye toward “You can't do this?”

I smell a table, Roll or Choose Three. Optionally, you can roll or choose one less (minimum of 1) for each ability score penalty you possess (these already go a long way to informing play):

I am fairly capable at most things I dare to attempt, but...
Roll Or Choose	ἁμαρτία
1	I Always Cheat or Favor Short Cuts
2	I Always Donate 10% Of My Wealth to The Church or Charity
3	I Always Overestimate My Capabilities
4	I Always Manage To Disappoint My Family and Friends
5	I Am A Buzz-Kill
6	I Am A Compulsive Gambler
7	I Am A Coward
8	I Am A Glutton
9	I Am A Vegetarian
10	I Am A Very Heavy Sleeper
11	I Am Addicted to A Drug or Other Unhealthy Substance
12	I Am Always Right
13	I Am Inconveniently Bad With Names
14	I Am Bloodthirsty
15	I Am Bowlegged
16	I Am Exceptionally Callous
17	I Am Color Blind
18	I Am Completely Tone Deaf
19	I Am Cursed
20	I Am Distrustful of Magic
21	I Am Dyslexic
22	I Am Easily Distracted
23	I Am Easily Startled
24	I Am Excessively Impatient
25	I Am Greedy
26	I Am Hated by The Gods
27	I Am Honest To A Fault
28	I Am Inconveniently Careful
29	I Am Inconveniently Old
30	I Am Inconveniently Overweight
31	I Am Inconveniently Short
32	I Am Inconveniently Tall
33	I Am Inconveniently Thin
34	I Am Inconveniently Young
35	I Am Miserly
36	I Am Nosy
37	I Am Slow To React
38	I Am Startled By Loud Noises
39	I Am Terrible At Math
40	I Am Terrible At Riding
41	I Am Ugly/Unattractive
42	I Am Untrustworthy
43	I Am Very Bad With Money
44	I Am Very Gullible/I Was Born Yesterday
45	I Am Very Quick To Anger
46	I Am Very Shy
47	I Am Very Superstitious
48	I Am Very Unlucky
49	I Bully The Weak
50	I Can't Lift Heavy Things
51	I Can't Read
52	I Can't Remember My Past
53	I Can't Swim
54	I Cannot Appreciate Art or Beauty
55	I Cannot Be Stealthy, or am Very Noisy
56	I Cannot Climb
57	I Cannot Handle Strong Drink
58	I Cannot Not Tolerate Torture or Cruelty
59	I Cannot Operate Under Pressure
60	I Drop Things
61	I Experience Flashbacks
62	I Frighten Animals
63	I Get Lost Easily
64	I Get Winded if I Run
65	I Had A Very Poor Education
66	I Have A Bad Back
67	I Have A Bad Reputation
68	I Have A Sensitive Stomach
69	I Have A Terrible Temper
70	I Have A Very Distinctive Appearance
71	I Have A Weak Grip
72	I Have A Weak Heart
73	I Have a Weak Immune System
74	I Have Difficulty Finding Clothes That Fit Properly
75	I Have Difficulty Telling Right From Wrong
76	I Have Horrible Hangovers
77	I Have Missing Fingers
78	I Have No Sense Of Humor
79	I Have Severe Allergies
80	I Have Shaky Hands
81	I Have Trouble With Learning Languages
82	I Have Troubling Nightmares
83	I Lack Faith
84	I Never Bathe
85	I Never Forgive A Slight
86	I Never Retreat or Surrender
87	I Often Misread The Intentions Of Others
88	I Require A Lot Of Sleep
89	I Smell Bad
90	I Stutter
91	I Suffer From A Crippling Phobia
92	I Suffer from Arthritis
93	I Suffer From Delusions
94	I Suffer from Migraines
95	I Suffer from Motion Sickness/Vertigo/Seasickness
96	I Swear A Lot
97	I Walk With A Limp
98	I Will Never Turn Down A Drink
99	My Eyesight Is Very Poor
100	My Hearing Is Very Poor

The object here initially was to highlight “anti-skills” or “incapability” more so than “flaws” or GURPS-style “Disadvantages” but that's what it morphed into as I started trying to brainstorm and fill out d100 table.

Entries like “I Can't Swim” are much more in tune with the original intention, this limits a Player's options very succinctly and concretely and could lead to interesting situations, back-story expansion, and tough choices. Binary characteristics like this have a more obvious impact, but naturally it's difficult to come up with a negation for every potential skill.

I can't shake the feeling that beginning play with a few examples of INCOMPETENCE or INEPTITUDE would immediately and directly inform play in a pretty different way. Instead of “I Can't Sneak Around because I'm Not A Thief” this option remains open or on the table (unless you choose or roll “I Cannot Be Stealthy, or am Very Noisy” of course).

A careful reading or additional exposition about the nature of the flaw itself in some (or most) cases leads to the deficiency skill-wise if it's not otherwise obvious: Why would the vegetarian know how to cook this steak or butcher this doe? How does this dietary restriction impact reactions from the chiefly carnivorous Barbarians of the Frozen Wastes? Some are definitely more obvious than others, but looking at things side-ways or thinking on what the converse of the limitation represents can help here.

Need to resolve or determine if a character can do something that isn't clearly contravened by their limitations? In the spirit of fun and freedom, I suggest “Say Yes, but...” or “Tell me how...” to close the gap. If all else fails, state consequences and chances and have them decide if the risk is worth it and roll something. The intent here isn't to model what the character is capable of, or how to determine success of an action, but to automatically determine a few points of failure and try to highlight that anything not precluded is possible.

Some results or choices create interesting collisions with Ability Scores (“Why can't my Strength 18 Fighter Lift Heavy things?”) and Alignment (“Why is my Lawful Character Untrustworthy?”). I feel this is a feature. Generous DMs could supply commensurate/commiserative Ability Score adjustments or other bonuses to compensate for spectacularly limiting flaws. I don't think I'd do this, if the flaw is too far against type or doesn't seem fun, just pick another one.

I'm sure a system could be worked out to allow the character to overcome their flaws through play, but I've always had a soft spot for the hapless hero and protagonists with this kind of dimension. A tiny subsystem like this might go a long way to insure that each and every character has an interesting (or exploitable) weakness of some sort from the start, and at the very least inform role-play a little more broadly than your standard skill list.

I'm interested in hearing thoughts about this, or if anything similar has been attempted elsewhere for inspiration. I know it sort of flies in the face of “fun” to a degree (heroes are capable, not "bad at things"), but we all have different definitions of what is “fun.”